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Sep 13, 2026 10:09 PM
I’ve been seeing my current therapist for about six months. It all started with anxiety about AI, job security, finances, family planning, etc. My wife suggested that I try therapy based on her positive experience. Initially, I had the same thought: only “losers” and “weak people” would seek additional help. So my first inclination was to say no. However, with the mindset of trying anything at least once, I used my company’s employee support program, Lyra, to find a therapist online who seemed interesting to me. It turns out that it’s the best decision I’ve made this year, and I have a feeling it will remain my number one decision over the next two to three years.
What has changed?
First things first. I’ve become more aware of my internal feelings and desires, instead of always suppressing them as soon as they arise. Second, I’ve become more vocal about my preferences. I also draw boundaries with my wife, my family, and my parents, as well as at work. I ruminate less and understand that all things have their origins and all problems can be solved. It’s not that my therapist gives me a solution or a cure for every single problem. I’ve been given a systematic framework to tackle high-stress moments, and I now have weapons to fight back. Here are some life-changing thoughts:
- It’s okay to be anxious, sometimes super anxious. What matters is using simple exhalations and inhalations to relax your body and brain. Tame the fear and emotion, then think about the next steps. Remember, it will always come.
- Practice makes things stick, whether in a positive or negative direction. If you jump into anxious mode immediately after a threat, your brain will adapt to it. If you guard yourself against the thunderstorm of anxiety when it happens by using simple techniques, your brain will learn that too. The neurons will be built upon that. You have the choice of which direction to reinforce.
- Pivot. The moment you realize that you are anxious, pivot your mind toward either past experiences that truly help you relax—scuba diving, in my case—or friends and role models you look up to for inspiration and help. The gist is to pivot toward more help and support in a self-initiated, proactive, and self-sustaining way. The more you practice, the more self-reliant you become.
What did we do?
You might be curious: is this really magical? Is there anything special about the therapist I talked to? The answer is yes, or 70% yes.
This is my first therapist, and I’m happy with them. I have no intention of replacing them anytime soon. I remember times when they pointed out my blind spots so effortlessly that I was truly amazed by their attention to detail and nuance. Their approach is personalized to my situation, with all the context I’ve dumped on them over the last six months. Yet they can still quickly recall the people and events we’ve talked about and use them as examples to argue with me and prove their points. Lots of times, I’ve had goosebumps when they’ve talked to me like a true sage who can find the contradictions in my story and give me a way out, both emotionally and intellectually.
Most of the time, we talk about AI, career management, family, childhood memories, and any other sources of anxiety. Each session is one hour, and we would usually run an extra 5–15 minutes, depending on the topic. Later, my wife reminded me of the importance of respecting my therapist’s time, and I’m sorry for the extra time I stole from them.
What do I recommend looking for in a therapist?
- Pick someone you’re fond of. Whether it’s their looks, name, background, location, or anything else, you have to like them in order to share freely. Psychological safety is what we aim to achieve first.
- You should share common interests, or at least be able to talk about a topic in depth. For me, it was AI. Everyone probably knows about AI, but having a therapist who is genuinely interested in the topic and asks intellectual questions is such a different experience from my day-to-day work. Have something that you guys can keep talking about endlessly.
- Be open and willing to question your beliefs and value systems. Treat it as an opportunity to outgrow your current self and break free from your old prejudices. The more open you are, the better the results you will get.
What’s next?
After successfully transitioning to an AI research role, I’m going to face more AI/human challenges, as well as geopolitical conflicts and their effects. These are big topics and can easily overwhelm any individual. I plan to continue this journey with the support of this partnership. Moreover, I want more and more people to benefit from therapy and achieve their greatest potential in life.